A-Z of British etiquette
Conducting yourself online in the correct and proper manner has never been more important, with future bosses, partners and friends checking out your social and professional credentials.
Facebook is the undisputed king of the social network world, but also the King’s frowned-upon brother: the Duke of Windsor of the online community. Watch your friend count too many times and you look needy and shallow. It is not a competition, and all the best people avoid using Facebook too often, anyway. The Duke of Everso clearly doesn’t do (or have time for) social networking. Online games via Facebook such as Farmville are for people with more time than sense on their hands (anyway, it is now so four years ago). Watch your social status plummet if friends get notifications from you asking them to join you in Candy Crush Saga.
Then there is Twitter. For the old guard, Twitter is really the reserve of the young or (if over 40) the lefties. If you’re not already on Twitter, don’t bother joining. If you are, just watch what you tweet. The slightest spelling mistake or grammatical error and your waiting followers will pounce on it and savage you: a trend popularised by Piers Morgan. (Insert your Piers Morgan joke of choice here.)
As with all social media, attention-seeking posts are to be avoided at all costs and will show you up to be a lightweight. They can also convey far too much emotion, and such displays are seen as the eighth deadly sin in Britain. We are frightfully pleased you have a new job, or new car, or that you’ve given birth but all such life achievements should be underplayed and written about in a casual, off-hand manner in order to show you are above such things as excitement.
To summarise, perhaps the best (anonymous) quotation about the King & Queen of social media: “Twitter makes you like those you’ve never met; Facebook makes you hate those you’ve known all your life.”
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